The Obituary

I have a tendency to read the obituaries in the news. Not just to find out who passed away, but what is their life story, interests, and contributions. Supposedly ordinary people who fought wars, raised families, contributed time and money to charity, and other works that were unheralded. The everyday struggle of earning living, donating your time to charities, and raising a family are rarely noted or glamorized. That there was a life beyond the short printed death notice in a newspaper.



I often wondered about those with short biographies if they did more than reported. What were their ambitions, and what else would they liked to have done (who doesn't think that?). What were their hopes, dreams, and unfulfilled ambitions? Some obituaries are very personal, giving such information as favorite movies, fans of movies, special friends, pets, and funny anecdotes. Others are very sparse with detail, and some have very little or no family listed at all, a making me sad for them, where an obituary page is seemingly their only legacy.



It makes me wonder what my mark in life will be and what a legacy I leave behind. That's probably what is behind mid life crises: the feeling to accomplish what one wants to do is increasingly limited as time passes. In the end, I don't want to remembered as the number one Steelers fan or other such distinction, but rather the title of husband, father, and Christian worker. The number of people I made laugh, made their life better, and helped is a far better legacy to be remembered by that titles or money.

Are You a Kodak or an Amazon?

In 1975, Kodak developed the first digital camera. However, film was a huge revenue source for the company, and a digital camera would have dried up that revenue. So the prototype was place on the backburner for years until competition forced their hand to finally introduce to the marketplace. By then, the opportunity parade had passed by.

Amazon, however had a different philosophy. Whereas their service was selling books, they took the initiative to cannibalize their market short term for long term success. They seen the handwriting on the wall for print, and the advantages of e readers, so thus the Kindle was born. They also got a head start on their competition.

Blockbuster has a similar story. They created a national chain of video stores where their main product was renting videos where before consumers went to rent them from convenience stores, who provided them as only a part of their marketing plan, not primary one. When renting videos were a gold mine in the 80s and 90s, no one could see what technology could bring. Some even predicted the end of the movie industry as we knew it. So in 2000, a young start up called Netflix was presented as firm to be bought, Blockbuster executives declined their offer. Online movies could hurt the infrastructure invested by Blockbuster, so they ultimately declined.

The moral is technology goes on with or without us. We cannot hold it back, no matter how big we are. Beware of the hungry young dropout in their garage with burning ambition and know how. It is where the next revolution will begin.

Everyone is a (and has a) Part of the Body

Everyone has a part to play in the Body of Christ. That is evident in the unlikely people chosen by God to perform tasks that others seemed better suited to do that the Pharisees would find difficult to believe. Consider the following:

Moses, leader and delivered of the Israelis out of the bondage in Egypt, was known to stutter in front of, and uncomfortable, around a large group of people, and even told God so and was very reluctant of his assignment.

Rahab the prostitute assisted the spies sent from Joshua in destruction of Jericho, and was spared in its demise.

David, slight of stature and barely a teenager, slain Goliath the Giant.

Jesus chose from his disciples humble fishermen, and in Matthew's case, a tax collector (the most despised position in Judea).

Saul of Tarsus, persecutor of Christians, had a Road to Damascus moment, and founder of churches and creator of converts that was the genesis of the modern church.

Abraham and Sarah, although very old, bore the seed of a mighty nation.

Deborah, the only female judge in Israel, predicted victory over the Canaanites, despite the reluctance of Barak, and stated the credit for the victory will belong to a woman.

The Bible contains farming analogies to illustrate its lessons. Some Christians  are planters, tossing seeds in to the ground, where it will slowly spring from its roots. Others irrigate the crops by  watering them and pruning its dead branches. And yet others harvest the crops when they are matures and ready to be cultivated. Our witness can be like one of those jobs. Perhaps the results are not spectacular and immediate, but can produce long awaited, and worthy, results.

Don't get discouraged in your walk and wonder if you have made an impact with your faith. We are called to many offices: teacher, preacher, prophet, and evangelist. Each part of the body has to complement other parts, otherwise little will be accomplished. Find your gift, and don't be discouraged. Look at what you gifted at, and find those in need, pray in earnest, and let God do the rest.

What is Your Brand?

What is your brand? In other words, what do people think of when your name is mentioned (or after you pass away)? How does it affect your witness?

A brand, a marketing expert will tell you, is something that easily identifies you, a name, logo, or image that people see and think of you. It could be kindness, frankness, or rudeness. It defines who you are, which made me take stock in myself: how do I want to be remembered? After the satisfaction of a grudge wears off, perhaps due to the death of that person, what then, but a certain hollowness.

Deep down, I think most Christian men still want to be "bad boys." Some, for example, with their former positions in pagan and occult involvement defines them, such as "Former Super High Grand Poobah to the Great Goddess of Infinity Sheeda." No matter how many years later, that title still is attached to his personae, almost like a badge of perverse honor, as long as there are books and seminars to sell.

Me, I grew up in the church. No Road to Damascus revelation. Nothing to write a book, or exciting enough to have people come to paid seminars. I'll gladly join those working behind the scenes, and casting seeds in the hearts of the lost to be sown someday in the background, and waiting for my reward in the Hereafter.

Unnatural Prayer

Being a Christian means doing the opposite of what human nature desires many times. Praying for your enemy is one of them. Thoughts of revenge can be satisfying and fulfills a baser element in our flesh. But it is not what we are told to do according to scripture.

One was to do this is set aside a specific time of day, and pray for those who wronged, annoyed, or trespassed towards us. For instance, make a habit of setting 8pm aside for a couple of minutes to do just this; I know this will take discipline. Remember that many are in need of prayer themselves, and may be hurting inside. It's forced, of course; maybe disingenuous. But I believe after time passes, we can see those who wronged us as flawed people with their own weakness and demons, just like us. We can then see ourselves in them and their own humanity, instead of enemies. If necessary, ask for God's grace in letting the bitterness of anger mar your soul. Let Him know your struggle to forgive, and that you seek to do what He commands you to do.

Why do this? First, it is because Christ commanded it. Matthew 5:43-45 states: "43You have heard that it was said, 'YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR and hate your enemy.' 44"But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.…"

Second, it is good for our soul not to become embittered with hatred that festers through the years and disturbs one's peace that gives us our witness to others. We remember that we, too, are human and have made mistakes and hurt people as well, and that humbles us and we learn from it. Would we want those who we hurt to forgive us? Prayer cannot be just expressing our desires and whims, it should also about us becoming better people. We can't all minister only to our friends, anyway.

Temporal things that give momentary pleasure, such as intoxication, arguing, pettiness, grudges, and the like are anathema to the Christian life; it goes against the human grain. But those temporary pleasures can be our permanent downfall if we let them. Let's be better about it.
 

Remembering the Old Me

I encountered someone I believed standoffish and distant in a cafeteria I worked. He never looked at you as you walked by, nodded, or said hello. I thought perhaps he just did not like police officers and felt insulted, but I later learned that he was like that with everyone. I grew uncomfortable in his presence.

Then I remembered: He reminded me of myself some years ago (and, unfortunately today, to a lesser extent), almost to a tee.

Someone angry and depressed at a world who misunderstood me, that loved to talk about things among their friends, and making me an outsider as a result. There was a time I longed for friendship and acceptance, then it disappeared. Stung by romantic breakups and not liking the things others did, I became a loner. That cast me in the eyes of many as unfriendly, and the cycle continued. A bar was a place to go and listen to music get out of the house, enjoy a beer and a smoke, and observe pretty young ladies. However, I was an observer to the crowd at large, socializing and having fun among friends. There was a time when I may have been jealous of the gathering of companions, commiserating on the travails and humor of life, but I eventually became cold to it. I became numb to what people thought of me or how I was perceived.

Eventually, I found a group of friends that I could relate, and found jobs where I found purpose in them, and did not see people as the enemy anymore. I grew more concerned to the well being in others, and learned the best way to fight depression and rejection was to lose myself in the concerns and the helping of other people.

I don't know what demons this young man has (don't we all have them). Maybe that's just his personality and I need to learn to respect that and not take it personally. Or maybe I should reach out to him others did for me 20 years ago. Whatever happens, please pray for us both.

Then, What?

Suppose you accomplished everything you wanted to in life? Sounds wonderful, right? Then what? What's left when you conquered everything you wanted to? No more mountains, trips, titles, positions, jobs, and events to conquer. We create "bucket lists" to do before we pass away. Yes, it's great to have done everything you set out to do, and retire peacefully, and look back at a life well spent. Enjoying little moments in our life can be great, too, such as having a chat with a new friend, or being with your child. Not everything has to be done in a grand and sweeping fashion. Don't get me wrong, as in a earlier post I stated "enjoy the moment" in the little things life has to offer. I see older people and wonder if they are truly enjoying their retirement, or if there is something more in their lives to do. Do we put them out to pasture and ignore the life experiences they accumulated, and tap into their reserve for their expertise they gained over years of living, or do we just pass them by? People still in their prime years should avoid this especially by letting their skills and talents rust. Have people fulfilled their lives, or are they at a crossroads and not sure what to next?

Take stock in yourself, and ask what do you have to offer, whether running for town council, or volunteering for your church. What contributions and leadership could you offer to a person or organization that is struggling and benefit from your help by being a mentor? Have a purpose when you get up in the morning, and make someone's life better, and in the process make yours better as well.

What's worse, a life unfulfilled with plans to be made and windmills yet to joust, or a life with no more goals and nothing left to acheive? Given the choice, I'd take the latter, because I would rather  look back at what I could have done with what I wanted to do, instead a life with no purpose beyond today.

Life Is To Be Shared

As the summer comes to an end, I think about all the plans I had that never materialized, places to visit, and events to see. But what I do remember most is the experience and friendship I enjoyed with the people I encountered. Travelling alone, you have to seek out fellowship and adventure wherever you can, and it doesn't take a lot of effort to find some if you try.

Being an introvert, it took me a while to appreciate this. I discovered that helping someone along the way and easing their burdens is not just the right thing to do and make you feel better, but can also develop a new companion along your journey, albeit a brief one. The bartender, clerk, fellow patron at a general store, or waitress at a roadside diner, could be the source of interesting stories, local color, and a lifetime of funny stories retold to loved ones. Take time to appreciate people for who they are, instead of what

In the end, the memories of friends, new and old alike, are the most important. Grudges and prejudices can be self-indulgent and ultimately self-destructive. Life is with people.

Challenge Yourself!

Find something to do you never thought about doing before. Not necessarily daring or dangerous. Just something new that would break the chains of sameness and personal inertia.


Write a story.
See a French New Wave movie.
Explore a lonely trail.
Listen to a new piece of music.
Volunteer for a cause.
Call an old friend or make a new one.
Reach out to the lonely.
Take a course in a new interest.
Run for an office.
Play a new sport.
Cook a delicious meal.
Take a stand.
Read a new book.

Whatever you do, realize it's a big Universe out there and waiting to be explored, awed, appreciated, and discovered in all its glory, even without visiting new planets. You may even find yourself out there somewhere, too. The world is bigger than us individually, but so is our little community as well.

Baseball Twilight

The evenings are getting colder in October, and twilight is approaching sooner, but we still have baseball to savor as the fall leaves remind us the the chill of night is coming.

The game of baseball, still referred by some as the National Pastime, has long been eclipsed by the NFL, and more recently NASCAR and MMA. It shouldn't be a surprise, as I wonder if baseball's character fits with the mood and the culture of the nation anymore.

For instance, baseball has unwritten rules about not showing up players from the other team. Call it sportsmanship, mutual respect, or old fashioned courtesy. The concept is still alive in a world of touchdown dances, showboating, and a look at me culture that wants its own reality show or viral video. Any deviation from the rule, however, could lead to close haircut from a pitcher's fastball, just to reinforce the rule.

Baseball involves subtlety, strategy, and suspense. Is the manager going to replace the pitcher, make the batter bunt, or order a double switch? In a world of 200 mph hour stock cars and the onslaught of fighters in an octagon, the nuances of baseball are less appreciated. It is still the game of tradition and respect in world of viral tweets over an iPhone.

Baseball, where the green diamond field belies the chill of autumn, the summers of memories, and a gathering of friends and hot dogs, continues.

Fear Loses Out

The world is not dictated by those in the peanut gallery constantly critiquing the doers, as if the Universe is on a comments section page for stinging barbs on those who attempt their dreams. It is, rather, for those who win if only because they overcame doubts, fear, and ridicule to do something meaningful.

Being an introvert, I have for years been reluctant to get into the arena, so to speak, for fear of failure
and mockery. The result was I was reduced to being a spectator in the passage of life. It has held me back, until ambitions finally prompted me to get out there with a positive outlook, and ready to fight.  Remember all of the fears you may have had, and where the common thread of them all was that they probably weren't as bad as you imagined the results. The real enemy was made up in your mind, and defeating you before you even started.

Ultimately, you have to set aside fears and doubts, and learn to laugh at yourself if you fail. People who criticize and laugh at you are those who in all likelihood did not have the motivation to get up and try something they always wanted to do. In any event, you will have tackled something you never tried before, maybe learned something about yourself, and broke out of the monotony of sameness. Any failure on my part is a good natured laugh at my attempt, and an appreciation of trying something I wanted to do, and the attempt is its own reward, no matter how hard the failure.

PS, regardless, that does not mean I will sing karaoke anytime soon, though! 

Enjoy the moment

Enjoy the moment.

I can remember an age before twitter, hashtags, texting, and smartphones. It was a time when people weren't constantly tethered electronically to the world.

I was entering a coffee shop one day, and spied upon a couple sitting together, and were both entranced by the cellphones: looking scrolling, texting, with earbuds
in place to guarantee no foreign sounds intrude on the little world they created. Ironic, since as a reader I always look forward to reading a newspaper when I go out for some coffee. However, I know enough to put my paper down and talk and acknowledge the person I am with. Since that episode, I have learned to put my paper down and try to appreciate the people and color surrounding me.

In a world of cacophonic noise and disruptions, there are some of us who like to seek a little respite from the teeming masses of humanity, ringtones, texts, and pressures. A quiet walk, a cup of coffee, watching kids play in a park, or a stroll down an aisle in a favorite store without the constant texting and ringtones. I have often wondered what people talk about when they seemingly do nothing but talk or text. Maybe it about they are taking about an awesome text they read. Creating your own reality than a virtual one is something I want to attain, rather than a virtual one in a Playstation.

As a result, I have sought to try new things, listen to new music, and develop more hobbies. To that end, I have written short stories, created art work, and began glider plane instruction. The world offers many thing to see and enjoy. And some quiet time is good in the end as well.

Thank you all!

Just a thank you to all the readers out there who may be lurking out there. 2014 I hope to get more traffic by optimizing my page, and I hope for bigger things for the "Night Watch!" Checking my traffic, I noticed viewers from Alaska to Germany, so it's nice to be gaining attention outside the Lower 48 states and overseas. Here is a synopsis of my plans for this year.

I hope to have, through CafePress, Night Watch merchandise: t-shirts, cups, caps, and the like. Please email me with your thoughts of what kind of merchandise you would like to buy. The "Night Watch" can become an exclusive online community!

Advertising. I hope to attract advertisers for the page as it (hopefully!) gains a larger  and targeted audience.

A Youtube channel, where I will post musings of events and ideas, and solicit feedback.

Feedback. For all you Night Watch fans, please drop me an email or Skype, as I would love to hear from all of you. My Twitter handle is Freemason48, and I am on Blogtalk radio at Politics Central.

Social Media Rules

I came to the social media world rather late, thinking such sites as the purview of teenagers. As social media became more mainstream with older groups, I finally joined. Okay, first it was MySpace, but then I joined Facebook, Tumblr, and LinkedIn. However, there some basic rules I wish users would abide by, such as:

One:  context. Posts such as "Feeling blue today" should provide some more information.

Two: No text spelling. I think the cousin of LOL is the social media version the guy who thinks he's funny because he ends a sentence with "TMI", or "That's what she said."

Three: Limit the number of game requests. Whenever I see a red message box on Facebook, I think it could be an important message, only to find a Mafia Wars request for the third time that day. If I want to play games, I'll play Pac man. As a corollary, if you haven't seen someone in twenty years, a friendly message would be great, instead of the first contact being to play Candy Crush.

Four: Reposts of motivational messages (repost this if you love your country, as if patriotism is defined by reposting a message). It's the 21st Century version of the chain letter, and just as annoying, but with much less trees killed for it.

Fifth: personal issues portrayed in wall posts.

Sixth: your picture should be the photo people see beside your name, not your cat, dog, parakeet, or your 6th grade picture (it IS called Facebook for a reason).

Seventh: Context. Please no more cryptic messages, i.e.., "Wonder what tomorrow will bring? Sigh!") that leave everyone guessing and hanging on to find answers, and in some cases unduly worry them.

Eighth: no constant advertising your weight loss/energy drink multi level marketing business. One person did so by constantly posing in a bikini and went from being attractive to becoming a show off. Now, I have ny own cleaning supply business, but keep the ads down at a minimum. If you want to advertise, get your own website. 

Tom and Santa

One day, not long after Halloween, Santa Claus came a upon Tom Turkey at the Holiday Central headquarters, and who seemed very glum. "What's wrong, Tom?," asked Santa. "Well, if you must know, this is supposed to be my time of year, Santa. But it seems your holiday is pushing me out completely."

"How so?" inquired Santa.

"Well, it's barely November, and already I see Christmas lights and tinsel put up, not to mention little trees. What do you have to mark my holiday? Pilgrim hats and a horn 'o plenty of corn. Not very festive, I must say.

"Well, you do have a lot of turkey decorations of yourself."

"Look, Santa, at all the music you have for your holiday about you: coming to town, reindeer, and watching everybody who's being good and bad. Even Halloween has some great music for itself, like the "Monster Mash". Pretty soon even Arbor Day will get more respect than me."

"Never going to happen, Tom. Arbor Day doesn't even have a character to represent them. Besides, people would rather look forward to a delicious meal of potatoes, pie, and tur-,  ahem, uh, stuffing, than plant trees.

"Yes, point taken, Santa. Well, anyway, that's why people can hardly wait to get my head on the chopping block, stuff me, and to eat me with cranberries. I'm like the Rodney Dangerfield of holidays. You, on the other hand, get milk and cookies everywhere you go. No wonder you're so jolly all the time. With all that, can't people let me enjoy my holiday a little more. Now, all Thanksgiving day is a time to start Midnight Madness sales at department stores. Now all of the malls are being hung with stockings and tinsel, elves placed everywhere, and store employees that can't enjoy my day to get ready for yours, which is a month away. Sometimes I think being chased with an ax in the farmyard isn't so bad. At least I get some attention."

"I'm sorry about that, Tom. Even though the Three Wise Men started it, I usually get the credit for the whole gift giving tradition, I agree something is lost in the rush of buying plasma TV's's and Xbox's, though. It used to be about being with family, togetherness, appreciating what you have, helping your neighbor, and the joy of the giving of a gift in itself, with nothing expected in return."

"Thanks, Santa. Presents are your bread and butter, so that's thoughtful of you to say."

"Well, Tom, even I have competition now. I used to deliver hand made toys from my workshop with my Elves. Toys made by hand with love and that would played with imagination. Now everything is about video games and movies where people are killing one another. I remember when people would get together and sing Christmas carols around the neighborhood. The Spirit of Christmas was about community than just  tinsel, lights, and displays of sleighs and deer."

"I get you, Santa. My holiday is supposed to about the Pilgrims who came to America in a leaky ship and were saved by the Indians from starvation. The courage that took to make the trip for religious freedom, and the coming together of the two cultures for a meal of thanks is also being forgotten over football games."

"I guess there are things that both are holidays share: love, family, peace, and reconciliation. Still, can you overlook the fact the Pilgrims ate your fore fathers?," chuckled Santa.

"Funny, Santa. I think I'll let you get back to your workshop. Maybe I'll just hire a PR agent, start a blog, or star in a reality show to get noticed like everybody else these days."

"Good luck, my friend, best of good tidings to you, and have a happy Thanksgiving."

"And merry Christmas, to you to Santa."

As the friends parted, Tom could see a lone figure in the shadow outlined in a robe. As he came closer, he could see the locks and beard on the man, as well as scars and blood on him. As Tom approached, the man spoke knowingly with a tinge of sadness: " I know how you feel Tom. More people today forget my birthday and what it really means, too, which are the greatest gifts one could receive: love and everlasting life."

An Apology

Sometimes during my quiet times of meditation, I think back to what was said or done by me that was thoughtless, misunderstood, or rude. Like everyone else, I've had my bad days. Sometimes in the madding crowds and din of noise, my anxiety and frustration can flare up. A flash of anger, an unkind word spoken, or nothing said at all. So to all hurt and offended, I would like to offer an unequivocal apology.


However, as a Christian, I'm called to higher standard. I am supposed to be witness to the Good News, and the accompanying joy of being a disciple. When I fail, I feel I failed as a someone who told others of the Faith, but did not live up to its promise. I only pray that those I shared with did not become disillusioned with the Christian message for any perceived hypocrisy.


I think of when I lied to avoid embarrassment or shame, cut a corner to get something done, or anything contrary to the commands of God, I would apologize to those I let down. Not to only to God, but those I shared my faith with, and when it mattered, fell short of the mark when you were watching. If anything, the result has been more humility and understanding of other's weaknesses.


Please remember, as much as I want to be a good example, don't confuse the messenger with the Good Message: love, redemption, and a code to live by to please God. When asked how I would like to complete my life when I'm called home, I would like to say that would be "I'm Squaring accounts."

Introverts

As an introvert, I wanted to to defend ourselves to the extroverts at large.

First, we don't like to be corrected publicly, like anyone else. Please don't ever spout out something like "How come you don't talk?" when we are in a group. This useful question usually comes up while we are in a group of people we just met and have no commonality with. It's like being dragged along to your wife's class reunion, and you know none of her classmates, and weren't there at the parties they talked about. You're there to be there, and not to really contribute anything to the conversation. The aggravating thing is your wife is of no help by not helping you get into the conversation, even though you're her guest, and not there by choice.


Which is related to my next peeve: if you invite someone along to your group you already know well, such as work, school, or jail, please don not leave s hanging. Don't introduce me to your friends by name as an outsider, and then delve into a conversation only understood by insiders. Please, understand we are your audience, too. It could help by asking us about how we feel about what is discussed and not left to fend for ourselves in the conversational wilderness.



Another thing that can be irksome with extroverts is for some, everything that comes out of their mouths is supposed to be so doggone interesting. Just because you sit next to someone at a diner or bar, that should not obligate you to be their bosom buddy. Social pleasantries are fine, but long winded yarns about nothing particularly interesting or relevant are frustrating. You may enjoy telling the story about what happened at the wedding of your nephew, but if I wasn't there, please don't expect me join in as though I was.  If the extrovert initiates a long conversation, the topic should be of mutual knowledge and interest, otherwise he should be obliged to pick up the check. Just please understand, we do not want to be the bad guy, antisocial lout, or arrogant just because we don't want to engage in your stories. Please understand and appreciate our differences, and think the worse from us.



Introverts, rather, enjoy solitary pursuits, such as reading or just being introspective on what's going on in life (not just daydreaming, although that is not such a bad thing). There have been times I have been reprimanded in diners for reading a paper instead of engaging in surrounding conversation, even though I came in by myself. Reading is not arrogance, or, to be high schoolish, "stuck up." Reading opinions and works of others means you are open to other ideas and concepts.


A helpful suggestion would be to engage in conversations that are more ideal for them to take place. It is very frustrating when I am standing five feet away from a band, and you want to talk about problems on your property owners association. If you want to further engage, please don't call me on my cell phone for a long talk. Although I appreciate it you want to talk me, I would be more flattered  if you would actually get off your couch, go outside, and meet me for coffee face to face, rather than having phone glued to my ear for an hour and losing minutes. And instead of referring me as "the quiet one," I would prefer being known as a loving father instead.


One final request: Please do not ever ask us if we can talk just because we don't join in and you don't hear us talking. Just because I don't see you read anything, I won't accuse you of being illiterate, either, or ask you why you can't shut up, okay?


Because in a world of cell phones, ringtones, and talking over one another, contemplation and silence can be a beautiful thing.